The Balance Between Yes & No
Brief: This post talks about finding the balance between answering YES & NO.
The potential of the answer YES is literally endless. Commiting to the answer YES puts your life in motion, every opportunity you encounter is met with a positive answer. With that being said you can’t say Yes to everything, and obviously NO has its place in the world. They are 2 of the most imperative words in any language because they give you the ability to express what you like and dislike. There needs to be a healthy balance between the 2 answers because commiting to 1 or the other is not healthy. Forever saying YES can get you into trouble and forever saying NO will restrict you from living at all.
Finding the balance is important but it’s also important to realize that making positive changes in your life will require you to say YES where you have previously said NO and vice versa depending on the situation. Personally I found myself saying NO to almost everything because of fear. I had built up the world to be a scary place and I very much so despised feeling uncomfortable or afraid so I relied heavily on NO to protect me from those feelings. I began making positive changes in my life and that is thanks largely in part to discovering a balance between YES & NO. I realized that I need to face fear and discomfort in order to push myself to be the person I want to be. Below are my keys to making the right decision for me and my future, I hope they work for you as well.
Understand Fear, don’t avoid it
Your brain is naturally going to try and protect you. That’s why when you look out the open door of an airplane at 10,000 feet your heart rate elevates and you start asking yourself, what the F&$K am I doing up here? That’s just your brain telling you that this is dangerous and also that you can’t fly. That feeling will most likely not go away even if you have a parachute strapped to your back. Understand that, at its core, the only job of your brain is to survive and avoid discomfort so obviously if given the choice between jumping out of a plane and not, it would choose not. You might be freaking out but sometimes you have to go against your most natural feelings in order to experience something that will positively change your life in the long run.
Is this going to suck? Will I be happy I did it?
Often times we find ourselves in a situation where the answer to both of these questions is YES. The more important answer to focus on is the 2nd one. If you know something you’re about to do will be unpleasant but you will be happy you did later, focus on that positive feeling you will have when it’s over. These situations build character, strength and confidence. If you currently are avoiding something because it’s going to suck, I suggest you tackling that head on and see how it makes you feel. My guess is it’ll make you feel awesome.
Does this benefit my future?
This one is simple, if YES, go for it, if NO, avoid. For me I knew I needed to make positive changes so there couldn’t be any grey area, it has to be black and white. A lot of people can find a happy balance between healthy and unhealthy life choices and that is fine, for me it wasn’t so simple. If you’re like me then prove to yourself that you can make the smart decision for your future. Don’t rely on the “I could if I wanted to, I just don’t want to” narrative. Trust me it gets you nowhere and it’s BS.
Finding the balance between YES and NO can make for an interesting and amazing life. These are the questions that I ask myself to help find that balance but you don’t need to stick to a script. Mix it up every now and again, you might be surprised. The right answer to the right question ca change your life forever.
